Do you have the financial power in your marriage?

 It is usual for the man to have the financial power in marriage. However, it is not unheard of for the wife to own such powers.  I always believed all that was necessary in sustaining a marriage where the woman has the financial power is the humility and submissiveness of the wife plus a man who is confident without an inferiority complex.  Now having a few friends in this situation, two of whose marriages have ended; I have realized there might be a little more involved. I always believed my friend is very humble and should not have a problem holding a marriage in spite of her financial power in her home. When I asked her, she responded “my sister, it is a different ball game when you are actually in it. it is easier said than done”.  

*sigh*. When asked if they can be in a marriage where the women have the financial power, most men (will) say, ‘sure why not? As long as she is humble. I cannot be intimidated by any woman. I will perform my obligations and it will not be a problem”.  Nicely said. That is majority and majority they say, is usually the one to go with. In this case however, majority have not been in this situation.  In the real sense, there will be times when the man will have no choice but to ask the woman for or borrow money from her.  The man will not like it if this happens too often.  This may sometimes result in him snapping at her even when he did not intend to.

Another thing is, certain issues that the wife will normally disagree with and will want to give a contrary suggestion to and might have gone without a fight may turn out ugly in such a scenario.  For example, the lady who will normally change her wardrobe every six months now wants to do same at a time when the man is struggling to put down upkeep money. The man thinks in the line that if she goes ahead to do that, she may not have extra to compliment where the money is not sufficient and he may have to find the balance in other inconveniencing ways. So man says to wife, ‘do not get new clothes this time. You don’t really need them.’ Woman in our usual stubborn way (has nothing to do with the financial power here) says back, ‘no, I have to get them. I need them. Please let me get them.’ She goes ahead to do so. In a regular situation, the man will only be upset that she did something contrary to his wish but may probably just think, ‘well, it is her money.’. unfortunately, in a situation where the wife has the financial power over the husband, his reaction may tend more to, ‘I see, so because she earns more than me and is very independent of my money she feels she can do as she likes with the money even when I say otherwise. So I cannot even control her. She is very arrogant. She is not submissive.’  In essence, the man’s response/reaction to certain woman attitude is often misinterpreted just because she earns more than him.

It may seem that sustaining a marriage where the wife has more financial power may depend largely on the financial gap. If the guy, in spite of his lower earnings still earns not so poorly, it may not be so difficult with both parties not letting superiority or inferiority come into play. However, if the man’s earning is quite poor, it may not be so easy to sustain such marriage. It will take A LOT. Now this is entirely my opinion from what I have observed.  I believe there will definitely be a few exceptions.