When I used to hear of men having sexual relationships with their maids or wife’s sister/cousin living with them, I used to be like, ‘that is crazy’. But when i started knowing of men or knowing people who actually know men who do such, I am now like ‘what the ....!’ i mean, it is more than crazy. It is disgusting and sad, very sad too.
Often times, neighbours are observant enough to notice even while the wife living under the same roof has not the slightest suspicion. Other than the man being absolutely shameless, i have been wondering what other factors could be responsible for such occurrence. Even with seemingly responsible men. Do we just take the easy route and blame it all on the devil? Hmm. A situation where the wife, for some reason has to leave home earlier than the husband and husband and help (maid or wife’s relative) are left alone at home, you really cannot have control over certain things. Things like what the girl chooses to wear while doing the small early morning chores. Remember it is still early and very likely she has not had a bath. Maybe it is a flimsy wrapper loosely tied round the chest or some other flimsy outfit. Of course, the man is a man and probably starts to see beyond the young girl and sees a pretty young waist moving temptingly in front of him. Young and firm boobs underneath a flimsy top, most likely braless too. Kids are too young to take note of some things. Even if, they have probably gone to school leaving oga alone with the help at home. Maybe the work place is still too far for madam to get home earlier than oga. Once again, the young girl help is the one who is home to open door and welcome oga when he gets back.
Madam gets home and is too busy to notice things around the house or to even listen to her husband’s gist of how his day went. Hmm. She forgets there is a likely substitute. A lot of people are quick to blame the wife and all, but let us be realistic, the way Lagos is wired, how easy is it for one not to have maids? And how easy is it for one to get jobs based on resident location? Sometimes, there are things that begin to happen and if it is not cautioned, may lead to this evil act kicking off which ones it starts, may not stop easily. What do i mean by this? The man may not have such intention from the start but if he encourages small unnecessary jokes between him and the young girl living with them, he may unconsciously find himself being too free with her and vice versa.
Yes, maybe a movie triggered this but truth is, these things happen. I may not be totally right but i think a few of the tell tale signs are when the help (young girl) has a sort of disrespectful attitude towards the husband. Most times it may be as mild as just pretending not to hear when oga talks to or calls her, thereby ignoring him. Another tell tale sign, could be a mild confrontational and overly confident attitude towards madam of the house from the help. Also, if the wife is observant, she might notice a few shared smile between the husband and the help when they think she is not looking. Like i said, all guesses. Maybe you responsible guys reading this want to help us with some more realistic and certain pointers one may notice if this kind of abomination is happening under one’s roof.
Sunday 28 April 2013
Wednesday 17 April 2013
SEX TOYS- WOULD YOU GET HER ONE?
Vibrators, dildos. They serve same or similar purposes. Gives pleasure to the female sex organ either through a vibrating sensation or the penetrating effect that feels like a penis. Well, that is the best way i can describe them.
I have friends whose husbands pleasure them during fore-play, using vibrators to tickle the clitoris. This was shocking to me the first time I heard because I never thought a man would even want to know that his wife uses one. Although I have never used one, I will not deny that I do wonder what it would feel like. I was talking to a few married men to find out their opinion about this artificial penis. Of course, majority said they would NEVER let their women use one, whether in their presence or in their absence. A few (not so few) others did not mind. Apparently, some even purchase for their wives. Below are some of the responses I got.
Tim says, ‘my conviction as a Christian forbids me. It is also a sign of weakness for the man.’ He says a big NO to letting his wife use one.
Dr A.C says, ‘most men can try it with girl friends but not with wife.’ Hmm this response shows that there are lots of men who would act out their fantasies with girl friends but never with their wives. Topic for another day.
Enitan says, ‘personally, no. So far say nothing do my sex organ and it is my responsibility to satisfy her. Vibrator may only come in if she enjoys it but it should not be a permanent solution to satisfaction.’
Tae says, ‘yes, one off. It is difficult to get them to climax all the time so they have a right to be crazy ones or twice a year. It is like fingering, you know. Do you really enjoy it? The answer is no but she does. You have to always think of your spouse’s happiness because it will save you a lot of stress.’ This happens to be one of my favourite responses.
Sam says, ‘why not? If that is what excites her. And if it is something new, not there from our dating days, question will be, ‘where is she learning it from?’’
AT says, ‘no I won’t because she may get used to it and there is no way as a human being will i be able to give her the same level of satisfaction. Also there exists the tendency for the frequency of masturbation to increase. This can also create room for lesbianism because it may become easy for her to do it with another woman after all it is the vibrator that is being used.’
Seun says, ‘it does not bother me because I know she will never want vibrator when i am there. I satisfy her more than any vibrator can ever do. If I am not around, make she carry go. Shebi i nor dey?’
For the men who will not tolerate it at all, I wonder what you would do if you suddenly found out your wife has one hidden somewhere in the house. Would you feel cheated on?
I have friends whose husbands pleasure them during fore-play, using vibrators to tickle the clitoris. This was shocking to me the first time I heard because I never thought a man would even want to know that his wife uses one. Although I have never used one, I will not deny that I do wonder what it would feel like. I was talking to a few married men to find out their opinion about this artificial penis. Of course, majority said they would NEVER let their women use one, whether in their presence or in their absence. A few (not so few) others did not mind. Apparently, some even purchase for their wives. Below are some of the responses I got.
Tim says, ‘my conviction as a Christian forbids me. It is also a sign of weakness for the man.’ He says a big NO to letting his wife use one.
Dr A.C says, ‘most men can try it with girl friends but not with wife.’ Hmm this response shows that there are lots of men who would act out their fantasies with girl friends but never with their wives. Topic for another day.
Enitan says, ‘personally, no. So far say nothing do my sex organ and it is my responsibility to satisfy her. Vibrator may only come in if she enjoys it but it should not be a permanent solution to satisfaction.’
Tae says, ‘yes, one off. It is difficult to get them to climax all the time so they have a right to be crazy ones or twice a year. It is like fingering, you know. Do you really enjoy it? The answer is no but she does. You have to always think of your spouse’s happiness because it will save you a lot of stress.’ This happens to be one of my favourite responses.
Sam says, ‘why not? If that is what excites her. And if it is something new, not there from our dating days, question will be, ‘where is she learning it from?’’
AT says, ‘no I won’t because she may get used to it and there is no way as a human being will i be able to give her the same level of satisfaction. Also there exists the tendency for the frequency of masturbation to increase. This can also create room for lesbianism because it may become easy for her to do it with another woman after all it is the vibrator that is being used.’
Seun says, ‘it does not bother me because I know she will never want vibrator when i am there. I satisfy her more than any vibrator can ever do. If I am not around, make she carry go. Shebi i nor dey?’
For the men who will not tolerate it at all, I wonder what you would do if you suddenly found out your wife has one hidden somewhere in the house. Would you feel cheated on?
Saturday 13 April 2013
I WANT MY WEDDING NIGHT!
Yoruba and our traditions sha! Just heard a new one and I have to know if it was not made up by my friend. I just got off the phone with a friend. He was telling me that his newlywed brother and bride are all with them. I mean, he is at his parents’ and the newlyweds are there too!
‘It is the tradition that the first 2 (or did he say 3) nights, the newlyweds must be at the groom’s family’s house.’ I am still in shock. Full house on my wedding night? The night that should be my first official and if I am a virgin, my first amazing night sexually? That is total wet blanket in my opinion. Where ever that tradition was when I got married, I am glad it was on vacation. Try to imagine it. Couple in room, she is a virgin. He is supposed to consummate the marriage that night. She is too timid to even focus on the pleasure. It remains a painful experience forever because if you are not in a position to ‘feel’ the pleasure, you are more focused on the pain that comes with dislodging the hymen.
Next scenario, she is not a virgin but has been anticipating this night like forever. She knows how loud she can be during sex. Maybe that is the only way she expresses pleasure. Sound track things now. What happens? She is too conscious of the full house to even have fun. Maybe she would not even let the guy that night because she does not want full house hearing her. Even if, groom will be busy muffling sounds with pillow or something. No way! I think we should vote for this tradition to be re-assessed.
Maybe the first night, the couple can be allowed to pass the night in a hotel and then come back to the full house for as long as tradition desires. Even if the house is one big mansion, can all the rooms be sound proof??
‘It is the tradition that the first 2 (or did he say 3) nights, the newlyweds must be at the groom’s family’s house.’ I am still in shock. Full house on my wedding night? The night that should be my first official and if I am a virgin, my first amazing night sexually? That is total wet blanket in my opinion. Where ever that tradition was when I got married, I am glad it was on vacation. Try to imagine it. Couple in room, she is a virgin. He is supposed to consummate the marriage that night. She is too timid to even focus on the pleasure. It remains a painful experience forever because if you are not in a position to ‘feel’ the pleasure, you are more focused on the pain that comes with dislodging the hymen.
Next scenario, she is not a virgin but has been anticipating this night like forever. She knows how loud she can be during sex. Maybe that is the only way she expresses pleasure. Sound track things now. What happens? She is too conscious of the full house to even have fun. Maybe she would not even let the guy that night because she does not want full house hearing her. Even if, groom will be busy muffling sounds with pillow or something. No way! I think we should vote for this tradition to be re-assessed.
Maybe the first night, the couple can be allowed to pass the night in a hotel and then come back to the full house for as long as tradition desires. Even if the house is one big mansion, can all the rooms be sound proof??
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