SINGLE MOMS: WHY THE STIGMATIZATION

Single motherhood is no longer uncommon in our society and I would have thought that the stigmatization would reduce.  Some time ago, one of my first posts actually, I blogged about unwanted babies http://phaozee-mythoughts.blogspot.com/2012/02/unwanted-babies.html.  We read how babies were abandoned in hideous places and left for dead, sometimes eaten by animals such as pigs. Others would even terminate (murder) a fetus with already formed limbs say at 6 months by taking certain concoction.

It is therefore shocking to me when a lady who made conscious effort to ‘save’ and love her baby, even care for alone is now looked upon like the loose and stigmatized to the point of it being a major issue when she meets a guy who wants to marry her.  Now that is entirely my opinion and you may have a different one. I mean, the one who had a baby but abandoned it, the one who aborted the pregnancy and the one who had a child all committed adultery and is a sin from the religious point of view.  The other two committed additional sins viz:  attempted murder/abandonment and murder. While the single mother chose not to add to her ‘error’.  I would refer to her as the brave one rather than condemn her.  Some of you may totally disagree with me and say she is stupid for jeopardizing her chances of living a stigma free life when she could have done otherwise but then we have different perspectives to life issues.

It is important to note that I am in no way celebrating or promoting single motherhood. Rather I am trying to understand why choosing to make a good (keeping d baby) out of a bad (having unprotected sex) is something to be ashamed of. Some men do not mind getting married to single mothers but others do mind a lot. Even the ones that do not mind get a lot of disapproval from their family members.  Strange as it may sound, I actually have a friend, he is divorced and has 3 kids yet he insists he cannot get married to a single mother.

Guys, if you are reading this, can you marry a single mother, especially if she has most of the attributes u desire in a wife? And generally, dear readers, what do you think are the reasons for the stigmatization single mothers face and are these reasons justified?

HUMANoPHOBIA????

I officially need help. I have phobia for HUMANS. Yes. I am afraid of people. This started after two guys with guns stopped and tried to rob my husband and I on the 23^rd June.  It is strange that I did not blog about the robbery incident –attempted-yet I am blogging about the aftermath of it. I can no longer bear to have a strange man look at me for even 5seconds without feeling that thud that signifies fear in my chest.  If someone moves or walks towards me, I get that feeling. I am in the car, and a motorcycle overtakes the car, I am almost ready ‘to be attacked’. 

This may sound silly and like I am just a dramatic but truly, this is getting really annoying even to me.  Every strange face around me now seems like a potential armed robber.  The other day a guy was walking towards my direction and for whatever reason, he lifted his t-shirt. I was this close to taking to my heels. Well, just a day before that, one of the guys (the one that held the gun to my side of the car in my face) did a similar motion of lifting t-shirt and out came a gun! Who would blame me for not wanting to see that movement especially by a guy? 

I am writing this because I honestly need help in getting over this latest and annoying fear of strange faces.  Dear darling readers, what do u think I can do to overcome this fear? Unfortunately, I do not get back from work till dark and I have to walk my street alone. I pray I do not punch an innocent one in the face some day and now that I am even contemplating having a pen knife with me all the time, I pray I do not attack an innocent person. Or maybe I should just get a pepper spray?