At some or one point in one’s (especially a girl’s) life, we have been hung up on the opposite sex so much so that even when we know there is nothing coming of it, we still find it so had to break it up. Maybe we are dating this guy and suddenly realise we are being taken for granted. Maybe we really like this guy but he only sees us as an option or entertainer or something to call on when bored. We really want to stop liking this person but it is just so hard. Times like this we just wish feelings could have a switch we can turn off or on.
Truth is, most of us still do not know how to handle such situation and we only stop when the guy finally hurt us with disrespectful actions or words. We do not really wait to get so terrible hurt. I wonder though, how some of you have successfully stopped such unhealthy (and one sided) relationship(s). When we eventually do, we look back and wonder what we saw in them that was almost turning us into some pathetic love struck Barbie.
For me, I gradually cut down communication with such a person. Yes, the temptation and urge to contact him is so strong that it is almost chocking but I just tell myself, ‘hurt now than hurt hard later’. The first 2-3 weeks is heart wrenching but then I start getting used to not contacting this person. I adapt, just like every human is created to, a new situation. Most times, all i need is a month and from then on, I will be fully cured. However, if at any point within the first 3 weeks i talk to the person for longer than necessary, the ‘sore’ is scratched and re opened slightly. This makes it that much longer to be fully cured. In my opinion, I think it is like an ulcer. When you are managing it, never eat or consume anything that can trigger the pains. Once you do, d pain that has been hibernating comes back. So the trick is, know what triggers it, and stay away from it then you should be just fine.
Another thing I have tried is, look for a major fault in that person and capitalize on it so much so that I gradually start disliking him. Hmm. Most of these are easier said than done. There has to be some simpler ways though. Maybe you have tried some and you care to share what worked.
Hmmm. Interesting! Its hard - as hard as a drug addict trying to jettison his/her habit. But I guess once you are able to avoid contact - physical and otherwise with this individual for an appropriate period then you are good to go.
ReplyDeleteHmmm,its better to call his bluff and try other guy because its not easy to change a man moreso if the relationship eventually leads to marriage you are in for it for life.
ReplyDeleteA lot of guys take ladies for granted but i think we all need to study our partner very well before and after going into the relationship. Remember, good & happy relationship is all about endurance & perseverance. It also also depends on the type of relationship; premarital, marital & extra-marital, which ever it is, we need to know the reason why we are in that relationship in the first instance. Once the reason is removed, the next thing is to plan your exit as fast as possible without hesitation (this does not include married couple as they are meant to make things work against all odds).
ReplyDeleteWell said,but its really not easy to let go but as you said, one just need to gather that courage and move on. But do we just pack up and move on when there is this little voice of hope and conviction somewhere in your heart that says its will be fine. In essence moving on is cool, solve the immediate issue of hanging on to uncertainty, but in all cases, is moving on the only choice? Are there scenarios where against all odds things work out???
ReplyDeleteIf a 'relationship' has turned sore, how hard is it to end it? If its not working try fixing it, if you can't fix it then drop it. Its so simple. Life is too complex to hold on to damaged goods. If he/she deserves you let them work for it, if you sell yourself cheap expect to be treated like a cheap goods.
ReplyDeleteMost times we forget that it is not in our power to change a man. We hang on and fight hopelessly. People need to understand that there is a very thin line between waiting patiently and wasting one's time.
ReplyDeleteWell said.
ReplyDeleteIt's something I battle with many times buh I think m getting there.
But trust me, it's really hard.