Yoruba and our traditions sha! Just heard a new one and I have to know if it was not made up by my friend. I just got off the phone with a friend. He was telling me that his newlywed brother and bride are all with them. I mean, he is at his parents’ and the newlyweds are there too!
‘It is the tradition that the first 2 (or did he say 3) nights, the newlyweds must be at the groom’s family’s house.’ I am still in shock. Full house on my wedding night? The night that should be my first official and if I am a virgin, my first amazing night sexually? That is total wet blanket in my opinion. Where ever that tradition was when I got married, I am glad it was on vacation. Try to imagine it. Couple in room, she is a virgin. He is supposed to consummate the marriage that night. She is too timid to even focus on the pleasure. It remains a painful experience forever because if you are not in a position to ‘feel’ the pleasure, you are more focused on the pain that comes with dislodging the hymen.
Next scenario, she is not a virgin but has been anticipating this night like forever. She knows how loud she can be during sex. Maybe that is the only way she expresses pleasure. Sound track things now. What happens? She is too conscious of the full house to even have fun. Maybe she would not even let the guy that night because she does not want full house hearing her. Even if, groom will be busy muffling sounds with pillow or something. No way! I think we should vote for this tradition to be re-assessed.
Maybe the first night, the couple can be allowed to pass the night in a hotel and then come back to the full house for as long as tradition desires. Even if the house is one big mansion, can all the rooms be sound proof??
Fiction. That's №† true. I have never in all my years heard ☀̤̣̈̇f such. Besides my lady, you are yoruba. Have you heard ☀̤̣̈̇f such tradition?
ReplyDeleteIf that were true, then it crap;
That's just my opinion.
Sis it is so tru, its a part of the yoruba marriage tradition and it is still very much in practise,I for 1 spent my wedding night @ my in-laws.though some families don't practise it any more and in some cases the husband insists he ll not spend the night. My Edo friend also observed it of it being their tradition I'm not sure but I assure u it is a yoruba tradition and still very much in practise.
ReplyDelete...You mean after all the stress and drama of your wedding day you still have time to think of sex? Your wedding night should be for rest, you'd have the rest of your lives to shag jor! Relax and enjoy your new family's company.
ReplyDeleteNew Family Company? But I also have the rest of my live to enjoy their company. I'll only have just one 'first night' with my husband as his wife. We don't even have to have sex but I won't be comfortable in a house I know the focus is all on me!
DeleteIt is a yoruba tradition. Some do practice it while others don't . It happen to ma parent, ma elder nd younger ones. I nearly escape but not quite well. So some do .
ReplyDeleteYeah its a common Yoruba tradition, I have a friend who also experienced this and it wasn't funny and easy @ all for her because she was asked to stay for two weeks and after the first week the husband had to resume to work and she was asked to stay behind alone for the remaining one week, claiming its the tradition of the family... I feel it's a tradition that needs to be stopped but for a lady that finds herself in such situation she just have to endure it because it will be too early to start picking up fight with the in-laws and they could just wait for the consummation till they leave the family house.
ReplyDeleteIts a practice amongst the Yorubas. I doubt it is as widespread though. And in terms of length of stay I'm not so sure how long tradition stipulates - whilst I've heard of a night or two I've never heard of weeks.
ReplyDeleteI don't know the origin of this tradition. It would be interesting to know. Could anyone who knows share?
Thinking about it now I think it might have something to do with the groom's family ascertaining that their bride was married a virgin.
I heard that in the past the newly weds would be given a white sheet to sleep/have sex on on their wedding night. The groom would then come out with the sheet to a waiting crowd.
If it was stained (with blood) then they rejoiced because they were at that point sure their bride had kept herself.
I believe this was how the wedding night at the groom's family home ritual came about.
Hmm, I'v neva for once heard of this yoruba tradition b4, dis is my 1st time. If it apens to be real, den my hubby and I will hide the passion for the night alone afterall we won't be there foreva. We'll simply use our wedding nite to cool off the wedding stress.
ReplyDeleteThis tradition is rubbish and a waste of quality time. I pray I don't experience this tradition.
ReplyDelete