Sex and Religion

Sex is a very important part of marriage, it could help in making or breaking it. And as religious people we are a little bit confused on our limitations as perceived by God. We don’t wanna fall into sin trying to please our spouses and also we don’t want to lose our spouses while trying to please God and do His will according to what we read in the Holy Books.
So I sought after two of my lovely friends to help out, one a Muslim and the second a Christian.
Bola Adeniyi-Oreagba, a devout Muslim and also a Blogger ( www.phaozee-mythoughts.blogspot.com ) will be handling it from the Islamic angle. While Bukola Precious Aduwo a born again christian and a Journalist will be handling it from the Christian angle.

Sex and Religion as written by Bukola Aduwo (Mrs)
It is with great pleasure that I put this piece together that centres on sex and religion.
Unfortunately such a topic is usually ignored or sidelined in churches because some sets of people believe it is sinful and will rather focus more on issues considered to be more spiritual.
But wait a minute, what can be more spiritual than sex especially in the confines of marriage?
It is established in the Bible that pre-marital sex is sin(Heb.13:4)but it is sad to know that some wives still feel ‘guilty’ after having sex with their husbands (Holy Matrimony). Matt. 19:5.
Sex in marriage is a wonderful gift that must be enjoyed so fill your mind with basic knowledge and insights that will enhance your sex life.  Song of Solomon,  1 Cor . 7:1-7 Infact it is shocking to know that most Christians believe that the only reason for sex is reproduction.  I need to state here categorically that husband and wife should offer their bodies to each other in marriage and should not deny each other except for a short period or season maybe during fasting.  1Cor.7:5.
Ladies whenever your husband beacons on you for sex, I beg you in the name of God not to hesitate to heed the call because if you must know, sex is like food for a man! Men as we know wake up in the mornings with an erection, that’s how their bodies have been programmed, so they can have sex every day of their lives without complaining.
Most ladies are in the habit of giving excuses whenever it is time to perform their ‘bedmatic’ responsibility. Remember the story of Queen Vasti in the book of Esther. The king(husband)  called her (for whatever reason) but she refused to answer the call. At the end of the day, Esther took her place, I pray we shall not lose our space and place in Jesus name. When it’s time to service your man, please do! Men love a Godly and God fearing woman, but they also want you to be slutty for them in the confines of your room. Sex in marriage is called “Holy Matrimony” and what ever is done there between both of you is acceptable to God as long as you don’t involve a 3rd party.
Tips on sex in marriage for the woman.
1. Keep yourself beautiful. Some women were meticulous about how they look when they were single  but relaxed after marriage.  Always remember that men are moved by what they see. That’s the way they are wired by God! Always look beautiful
2. Be a whore to your husband. Learn new bed styles, upgrade yourself, explore and most importantly always be on top of your game. Be creative – your husband must not be bored sexually.
3. Make your marriage your number one priority.
4. Demand for sex occasionally. It turns men on and makes them perform better.
5. Lastly devote ample time to pray for your man’s sexuality.
I sincerely pray that we shall not fall in our sexual responsibility towards our husbands. Amen.

Sex and Religion from the Islamic point of view as written by Fauzziyah Bola Oreagba (Mrs)

Sex has always been a difficult topic to talk about publicly among the Muslims. It is one topic that is always shoved aside and not dealt with in an honest manner. Muslim children go out in the world where sex is a commodity, everyone is engaging in sex and talking about sex but then they come back to their Muslim communities only to find that their elders are unwilling to engage the topic in a manner both relevant and ethical. Of course they grow into adults that have a wrong opinion and misunderstanding of sex.
The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said, “There is no shyness in matters of religion.” Married couples always ask questions about what is permissible on this subject matter. We hope that this write up will be able to do justice to that. Couples should be sensitive to each other’s needs and limitations. Even a ‘virtuous’ excuse like deep involvement in worship is not accepted if the man forgets or ignores his wife’s rights. In such a case it is the woman’s right to protest. History reports the woman who went to Umar ibn al Khat tab (second caliph) consulting him: My husband fasts by day and prays all night. and I feel embarassed to complain seeing that he spends his time worshipping God. The man was summoned for a hearing. The final verdict was to have three nights for his own worship and to heed the needs of his wife during the rest of the week. Umar also asked his daughter Hafsa how long a woman should stand being away from her husband, Upon which he decreed that fighting troops should be given leave to come back home every six months.
Islam encourages that all phases of sexual responses should be in synch to avoid sexual disharmony. In most cases, sexual disharmony is due to the man getting his orgasm when the woman is still eagerly waiting with inflamed desire to reach her own orgasm. The conclusion of the act at that stage would be unfair to the woman having been aroused but not satisfied, and that is what the prophet warns against. To guide against this, the Prophet of Islam has stressed the importance of intense fore play. He made a statement where he politely refered to fore play as ‘messenger’. He said, ‘”Let-not the one of you fall upon his wife like a beast (camel) falls.  It is more appropriate to set a messenger afore the act”
Now speaking on how far we are allowed to go in satisfying our sexual desires and/or the limits (if any) to fore play and sexual acts in Islam, Most Islamic scholars agree , that all acts that aim at satisfying and pleasing the spouses are allowable so long as two things are avoided, that is anal sex and having sex with a wife while she is still in her menstruation. Khuzaymah bin thabit (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that Prophet SAW said, ‘indeed, Allah is not bashful of the truth. Do not have intercourse with women in their rectum.’ (Recorded by An Nasai). Quran 2: 222 says, ‘They ask you concerning (intercourse during) menstruation. Say, it is harmful (to both partners), so keep away from women during menses.’ Note that it is permissible to be with and touch your wife and play with her even in her menses as long as she keeps covered her lower torso (her waist down). During Ramadan sex should be avoided “Only” when you are fasting, once you break your fast, please don’t deny your wife or husband his or her marital rights to you sexually
Another sexual act usually in contest of whether it is permissible or not is the oral sex. Dr. Heba Kotb, a Sunni female scholar[citation needed] who gives sex advice on Egyptian TV, said that oral sex is allowed “since there is no religious text banning it”. She considers oral sex as a part of foreplay on this ground that Islam “stresses the importance of foreplay”. However, following the principles of Islamic Jurisprudence, the scholars have come up with the following ruling for this issue of oral sex.
It can be considered as part of foreplay but Allah knows best as there was no discussion at the time of the Prophet SAW about this issue.
Something cannot be declared prohibited if there is no clear proof in the Quran and in the Books of Sunna (hadith).
It is disliked by the scholars because it is the practice of the disbelievers.
Oral sex should not replace normal sexual intercourse and should only be a form of foreplay if practiced.
No swallowing of semen or ejaculation is allowed. Precum and vagina liquid are also impure and should not be in contact with the mouth.
Should not be done excessively as it causes harm to the mouth or other parts of the body and therefore should be avoided.
In conclusion, there is great flexibility in terms of how you both can satisfy each other and that could potentially involve engaging in oral sex. All of this depends on your personal preferences. Be creative, stay within the limits established by Islam, talk to each other and be open in sharing your feelings with each other about what is satisfying and what is not.
It should be noted that one of the main objectives of Shari`ah is to safeguard the life of people and keep them healthy. Based on this, if it is scientifically proven that oral sex or such practices cause mouth cancer or form a danger on the health of a person who practices it, then it becomes totally prohibited.

In the long run, please let us realize that our religion holds marital sex in high esteem, it is the will of God, please wives, most especially, deny not your husbands their marital right to you. Its the best food you can give to him. Let him have a feast always. You can also drop your questions and we will try to get back to you as soon as possible.

culled from http://myorgasma.co 

SEXUAL FANTASY- do i have the weirdest?

It is a fantasy. Oh, but then it is sexual too. According to wikepedia, sexual fantasy is a mental image or pattern of thought that stirs a person's sexuality and can create or enhance sexual arousal. A sexual fantasy resides entirely in a person's mind and can be created by the person's imagination, mental recollection or thought. Many times, these fantasies never get fulfilled. They remain in our head, playing out in our dreams. Various things trigger them. Things like Objects, people, pornography. It can be uncomfortable for people to talk about their fantasies with their significant other (partner) for fear of being judged or being called a ‘ sinner’. However, it is often healthy to talk about it as best we can. Ok maybe not the extreme ones. Hahhaha. A friend said to me once, ‘ I cannot talk to my wife about my sexual fantasies. She will see me as a sinner. Religion kills sexual pleasure’. Hmmm. I don’t know if religion does that so I will just skip that line. ‘If you are imprisoned in any way by your work, your family, your education, your religion, your government—your fantasies become your freedom’. *stolen* A small survey was carried out and we found some really interesting sexual fantasies. A 32 year old male fantasizes about sex in the pool. Ok, how difficult can it be? c’mon, get your lady in a private or non-crowded pool and just DO IT! Haahaa. A 32 year old female has this fantasy of having sex with her man while she is in a very drunk state. One 34 year old male fantasizes about having a threesome. What he did not state however is if he would want the threesome to involve his current partner. Imagine your man saying to you, ‘hey honey, I brought us another girl/man to join in’. Lord have mercy! Hahaha. We have a 37year old female who has this fantasy of having a threesome including two gay men. Wow! A 42 year old man fantasizes about sex in a car. Ok you gotta hear this. A 31 year old male has this fantasy of ‘using a banana on a woman for penetration….and eating it out of her!’. We got this 35year old male who fantasizes about anal sex, facial cum and having the girl swallow his cum. Ok, no wonder we call them fantasies. The truth is we can actually act out some of these fantasies with our spouses/partners if only we got the courage to talk about it. The fear of being judged stops us. For example, some men fantasizes about having sex with a nurse in uniform. If the wife happens to be privy to this tiny bit of detail, all she needs do is get in a sexy nurse uniform, totally act out the part and make him make love to her. I bet as long as you talk and look nothing like the you he is used to, that fantasy would have been fulfilled. Some fantasize about having sex in the office. If the man has this tiny bit of information, all he has to do is surprise her in her office one day, near close of work and make love to her on her work table. Hmmm. I have a feeling her fantasy would have been fulfilled. More often than not, that partner we are too embarrassed to mention or talk about our fantasies to also have one or two ‘crazy’ thing she/he fantasizes about but is too scared or bothered to mention them to us. It might not be such a bad idea to find a way of informing our partners of our sexual fantasies. Who knows? I mean, why live a fulfill-able fantasy unfilled right? We could write them out on papers and exchange them. The ones we cannot achieve or the ones we know we cannot work around, we can just laugh over it. At least, we just might be able to fulfill some. What’s the worst that can happen anyway? Will he leave me because of my crazy fantasy? Ok, I don’t know if he will leave you for that so do share at your own risk….or for your pleasure. Lol.

SEX TOYS- WOULD YOU GET HER ONE?

Vibrators, dildos. They serve same or similar purposes. Gives pleasure to the female sex organ either through a vibrating sensation or the penetrating effect that feels like a penis. Well, that is the best way i can describe them.
I have friends whose husbands pleasure them during fore-play, using vibrators to tickle the clitoris. This was shocking to me the first time I heard because I never thought a man would even want to know that his wife uses one. Although I have never used one, I will not deny that I do wonder what it would feel like. I was talking to a few married men to find out their opinion about this artificial penis. Of course, majority said they would NEVER let their women use one, whether in their presence or in their absence. A few (not so few) others did not mind. Apparently, some even purchase for their wives. Below are some of the responses I got.
Tim says, ‘my conviction as a Christian forbids me. It is also a sign of weakness for the man.’ He says a big NO to letting his wife use one.
Dr A.C says, ‘most men can try it with girl friends but not with wife.’ Hmm this response shows that there are lots of men who would act out their fantasies with girl friends but never with their wives. Topic for another day.
Enitan says, ‘personally, no. So far say nothing do my sex organ and it is my responsibility to satisfy her. Vibrator may only come in if she enjoys it but it should not be a permanent solution to satisfaction.’
Tae says, ‘yes, one off. It is difficult to get them to climax all the time so they have a right to be crazy ones or twice a year. It is like fingering, you know. Do you really enjoy it? The answer is no but she does. You have to always think of your spouse’s happiness because it will save you a lot of stress.’ This happens to be one of my favourite responses.
Sam says, ‘why not? If that is what excites her. And if it is something new, not there from our dating days, question will be, ‘where is she learning it from?’’
AT says, ‘no I won’t because she may get used to it and there is no way as a human being will i be able to give her the same level of satisfaction. Also there exists the tendency for the frequency of masturbation to increase. This can also create room for lesbianism because it may become easy for her to do it with another woman after all it is the vibrator that is being used.’
Seun says, ‘it does not bother me because I know she will never want vibrator when i am there. I satisfy her more than any vibrator can ever do. If I am not around, make she carry go. Shebi i nor dey?’
For the men who will not tolerate it at all, I wonder what you would do if you suddenly found out your wife has one hidden somewhere in the house. Would you feel cheated on?

GET A BLOW JOB!

This is one of my first write up but I have been holding off posting it.  after  lots of editing , I believe it is finally decent enough to get on this blog.

A while ago, I did a random survey on the level to which men generally love to get a blow job.  Contrary to the impression most people have-including ladies-it’s really not all men who are a must-receive-blow-job men.  Although about 55% of men are like, “men, I must get a blow job and a damned good one at that”. About 3 out of  20 guys actually said its better than sex if properly done.  I was however surprised to find that although, a minimal figure, are totally almost indifferent about it.  One actually said a 4 times in 7years and never in a lifetime is good for him. Haahaaa. 

In my opinion, I think it boils down to the level of sensitivity of the individual. If the guy in question is highly sensitive to touch, like really sensitive, he definitely will not fancy a tongue on skin thing that much.  I can imagine some men reading this and are like, “what? Some men truly don’t like a blow job? That can’t be true”.  Well, reality, it is true. Individual differences. I am sure if we did a random study on women too, we would actually find a few surprises. Well well, as I thank all my wonderful ‘samples’ for being honest-yes they surprisingly were revealingly honest-in their responses, I await suggested strategies in making all men lover of blow job. 

MOST LADIES

As usual, I did a survey, this time to confirm the theory that majority of ladies have lesbian tendencies. Naturally, most will be too embarrassed to admit it but surprisingly, I was able to get honest responses that showed that  over 70% of girls have lesbian tendencies!!! However, not all have actually gone through with the ‘act’. For 40%, it still remains a fantasy. It has remained a fantasy for most mainly because deep down they know or believe it is not right or proper to desire to be touched by the same sex. For some, because they do not have to courage to approach another girl for it for fear of being turned down and embarrassed. Out of the remaining 30% who have tried it, about 5% found it wasn’t their thing.

When you think about it and wonder why this is so, it is possible that it is because a lady would clean up her vagina by really using her hands and fingers and this will allow them know the feeling of and right place to get the best sensation. Hence the saying that only a woman truly understand the best way to turn a woman on (ok, I don’t know where I got that saying from.lol).

Whether for cultural of religious reasons, most people believe attraction to the same sex is totally wrong. I will love to read your responses. Do you agree that most women have lesbian tendencies? Do you (if you are female) have lesbian tendency? Have you ever carried out your fantasy?