I have been procrastinating about this post for over 6
months now. When couples engage in sexual intercourse, they want to achieve
sexual satisfaction. Total sexual satisfaction is achieved when we are able to
reach orgasm. According to Wikipedia, Orgasm is the sudden discharge of
accumulated sexual excitement during the sexual response cycle, resulting in
rhythmic muscular contractions in the pelvic region characterized by sexual
pleasure. Experienced by males and females,
orgasms are controlled by the involuntary or autonomic nervous system. They are
often associated with other involuntary actions, including muscular spasms in multiple areas
of the body, a general euphoric sensation and, frequently, body movements and
vocalization are expressed.
Female can attain orgasm in more ways than one. That is, for
females to achieve orgasm, it is not restricted to stimulation of just one body
part. Women can reach orgasm through the stimulation of Clitoris, Vagina (the g-spot),
breasts, or other part of the body. Some can also attain orgasm through the use
of sexual imagery without any touch at all. A recent survey showed that
clitoral stimulation is the most popular (or we can say the surest ) way to
attaining orgasm. Out of about 30 people who took the survey say they are able
to reach orgasm through stimulation of the breast, three out of who also reach
orgasm through clitoral stimulation. Closely followed, we had a few more who
say they are able to achieve orgasm through stimulation of the g-spot, two of
who also reach orgasm through clitoral stimulation. The G-spot is a
place located on the front wall of the vagina an inch or two behind the back of
the pubic bone. Now this spot is said to be highly sensitive. However, some sex
researchers do not agree that this G-spot is present in all women.
It is common knowledge that women do not reach orgasm as
easily as men do. In fact, some women have NEVER experienced orgasm. This maybe
because their partners have not been able to discover the part of body that
needs to be stimulated for them to reach orgasm. In other cases, it may be
because the woman suffers from a condition called orgasmic dysfuntion.
For the first reason, it is unfortunate how couples never
take time to study the body of their partners. Some men just assume that
because their ex would ‘cum’ when her clitoris is stimulated, it is same for
this current partner. Why don’t you explore and see if she is simply different.
For all you know, she only needs her boobs stimulated for her to attain orgasm.
A man is not a man in bed until he is able to ultimately satisfy his woman. A lot
of women would even fake orgasm-yes, a lot of women can relate to this-just to
put the ‘boring movie’ to a quick end. The man is probably there pounding so
hard and ‘waiting’ for his lady to cum before he does (after all they say it is
good to satisfy her before you cum). If the pounding and thrusting without
stimulating (either by touching, kissing or licking) the essential part (for
example her breasts or clitoris) of her body is not doing it for her, it
becomes one loooong boring movie that she just wants to be over fast. Some ladies
will also refuse to speak openly with their spouse on sexual issues because
they fear that they may be judged or accused of learning from ‘unholy’ sources.
Eh, marital sex is very holy please. If your man is not doing it right, show
him. Show him in a way that will not deflate his ego though. Not a way that
will make it look like he does not know what he is doing in bed. You can just
guide his hand or mouth to where you want.
In the case of a woman who does not in her self know what gets
her to orgasm, maybe because she keeps hoping and believing that it has to come
from thrusting, it may be good for her to take a day or two to try and discover
what gets her to orgasm. Ok maybe not a day. Some women actually stumble on
their G-spot or the body part that gets them to orgasm, by accident. That is,
it could just be during one of those ‘routine’ sex that the man does something
different and she suddenly realises the intense pleasure and warmth that
preceeds an orgasm. And when this ‘something different’ continues and she
finally reaches orgasm, there is no way she is going to forget what got her
THERE! The sooner we start to understand that sex is not meant to be endured
but rather enjoyed, we may realise how important it is for us help our wives
reach orgasm instead of just expecting her to cum. ‘After all I am thrusting
and pumping so hard, what more does she need?’
P.S
Foreplay is key for a lot of women. It lays the
foundation to an amazing climax. Do not just take off her pants and penetrate
just because she seems ‘wet enough’.
As for me,it used to be my breast(boobs), till I met my recent boyfriend that opened my eyes or my legs (lol) to my G-spot.... I think He has turned me to a tigress
ReplyDeleteI think that how a man makes a woman feel outside sex time and how strong her feelings are for him does help too. There is the psychological angle to the science of sex which is a whole topic on its own. Husband love thy wives (and show it)
ReplyDeletePS: I'm one of the good-old-fashioned believers in sex only within marriage. This is the only place there are no limitations-physical, emotional or otherwise- and boundaries.
I totally agree with this! How strong her feelings for him are matters a lot. Husbands should make their wives feel their love outside the bedroom.
DeleteErmm... I agree that most has to do with the psychology. We don't want a man that does all the right things on bed but doesn't prove his place as our man afterwards. Interesting blog dear!
ReplyDeletePersonally, I can never enjoy sex let alone reach orgasm with a man who doesn't take care me. A man must first make me feel good about myself, show love and care, that way he has half his sexual job done for him. Pronto!
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ReplyDeleteA MAN WHO CaNNOT SatIsfY His WOMAN in Bed IS NOT A MaN afterall. Interesting. Methinks it all boils down to communication. Find out as a man what works for ur woman...she knows most times and she is willing to tell you if willing to listen. I personally do not see orgasm in women as a difficult "task". Some women can even experience it from just fondling with their breasts. Some achieve it with just felatio or oral sex on the vagina with main focus on the clitoris. Foreplay is very kery to any sexual act especially the type that involves atrong emotions. I rest my fingers for now.
ReplyDeleteIf the psychology is not in place I believe u can't attain orgasm. One needs to be mentally and emotionally stable plus of course being touched in the right places will get one to the height of ectasy
ReplyDeleteNice one Bola! The truth is that the brain is the most important sex organ. That is why a man can be in another continent and be making a woman hot and wet for him, while another can be in the same bed with her, naked, and she's not feeling anything! The relationship outside the bedroom should be prioritised. That said, g-spot stimulation sweet pass anything o, chei! Na the one wey dey make eye roll inside head be that! It's always worth the effort.
ReplyDeleteNothing as sexy as a man in the kitchen atimes for me o
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