Sex is a very important part of marriage, it could help in making or breaking it. And as religious people we are a little bit confused on our limitations as perceived by God. We don’t wanna fall into sin trying to please our spouses and also we don’t want to lose our spouses while trying to please God and do His will according to what we read in the Holy Books.
So I sought after two of my lovely friends to help out, one a Muslim and the second a Christian.
Bola Adeniyi-Oreagba, a devout Muslim and also a Blogger ( www.phaozee-mythoughts.blogspot.com ) will be handling it from the Islamic angle. While Bukola Precious Aduwo a born again christian and a Journalist will be handling it from the Christian angle.
So I sought after two of my lovely friends to help out, one a Muslim and the second a Christian.
Bola Adeniyi-Oreagba, a devout Muslim and also a Blogger ( www.phaozee-mythoughts.blogspot.com ) will be handling it from the Islamic angle. While Bukola Precious Aduwo a born again christian and a Journalist will be handling it from the Christian angle.
Sex and Religion as written by Bukola Aduwo (Mrs)
It is with great pleasure that I put this piece together that centres on sex and religion.
Unfortunately such a topic is usually ignored or sidelined in churches because some sets of people believe it is sinful and will rather focus more on issues considered to be more spiritual.
But wait a minute, what can be more spiritual than sex especially in the confines of marriage?
It is established in the Bible that pre-marital sex is sin(Heb.13:4)but it is sad to know that some wives still feel ‘guilty’ after having sex with their husbands (Holy Matrimony). Matt. 19:5.
Sex in marriage is a wonderful gift that must be enjoyed so fill your mind with basic knowledge and insights that will enhance your sex life. Song of Solomon, 1 Cor . 7:1-7 Infact it is shocking to know that most Christians believe that the only reason for sex is reproduction. I need to state here categorically that husband and wife should offer their bodies to each other in marriage and should not deny each other except for a short period or season maybe during fasting. 1Cor.7:5.
Ladies whenever your husband beacons on you for sex, I beg you in the name of God not to hesitate to heed the call because if you must know, sex is like food for a man! Men as we know wake up in the mornings with an erection, that’s how their bodies have been programmed, so they can have sex every day of their lives without complaining.
Most ladies are in the habit of giving excuses whenever it is time to perform their ‘bedmatic’ responsibility. Remember the story of Queen Vasti in the book of Esther. The king(husband) called her (for whatever reason) but she refused to answer the call. At the end of the day, Esther took her place, I pray we shall not lose our space and place in Jesus name. When it’s time to service your man, please do! Men love a Godly and God fearing woman, but they also want you to be slutty for them in the confines of your room. Sex in marriage is called “Holy Matrimony” and what ever is done there between both of you is acceptable to God as long as you don’t involve a 3rd party.
Tips on sex in marriage for the woman.
1. Keep yourself beautiful. Some women were meticulous about how they look when they were single but relaxed after marriage. Always remember that men are moved by what they see. That’s the way they are wired by God! Always look beautiful
2. Be a whore to your husband. Learn new bed styles, upgrade yourself, explore and most importantly always be on top of your game. Be creative – your husband must not be bored sexually.
3. Make your marriage your number one priority.
4. Demand for sex occasionally. It turns men on and makes them perform better.
5. Lastly devote ample time to pray for your man’s sexuality.
I sincerely pray that we shall not fall in our sexual responsibility towards our husbands. Amen.
It is with great pleasure that I put this piece together that centres on sex and religion.
Unfortunately such a topic is usually ignored or sidelined in churches because some sets of people believe it is sinful and will rather focus more on issues considered to be more spiritual.
But wait a minute, what can be more spiritual than sex especially in the confines of marriage?
It is established in the Bible that pre-marital sex is sin(Heb.13:4)but it is sad to know that some wives still feel ‘guilty’ after having sex with their husbands (Holy Matrimony). Matt. 19:5.
Sex in marriage is a wonderful gift that must be enjoyed so fill your mind with basic knowledge and insights that will enhance your sex life. Song of Solomon, 1 Cor . 7:1-7 Infact it is shocking to know that most Christians believe that the only reason for sex is reproduction. I need to state here categorically that husband and wife should offer their bodies to each other in marriage and should not deny each other except for a short period or season maybe during fasting. 1Cor.7:5.
Ladies whenever your husband beacons on you for sex, I beg you in the name of God not to hesitate to heed the call because if you must know, sex is like food for a man! Men as we know wake up in the mornings with an erection, that’s how their bodies have been programmed, so they can have sex every day of their lives without complaining.
Most ladies are in the habit of giving excuses whenever it is time to perform their ‘bedmatic’ responsibility. Remember the story of Queen Vasti in the book of Esther. The king(husband) called her (for whatever reason) but she refused to answer the call. At the end of the day, Esther took her place, I pray we shall not lose our space and place in Jesus name. When it’s time to service your man, please do! Men love a Godly and God fearing woman, but they also want you to be slutty for them in the confines of your room. Sex in marriage is called “Holy Matrimony” and what ever is done there between both of you is acceptable to God as long as you don’t involve a 3rd party.
Tips on sex in marriage for the woman.
1. Keep yourself beautiful. Some women were meticulous about how they look when they were single but relaxed after marriage. Always remember that men are moved by what they see. That’s the way they are wired by God! Always look beautiful
2. Be a whore to your husband. Learn new bed styles, upgrade yourself, explore and most importantly always be on top of your game. Be creative – your husband must not be bored sexually.
3. Make your marriage your number one priority.
4. Demand for sex occasionally. It turns men on and makes them perform better.
5. Lastly devote ample time to pray for your man’s sexuality.
I sincerely pray that we shall not fall in our sexual responsibility towards our husbands. Amen.
Sex and Religion from the Islamic point of view as written by Fauzziyah Bola Oreagba (Mrs)
Sex has always been a difficult topic to talk about publicly among the Muslims. It is one topic that is always shoved aside and not dealt with in an honest manner. Muslim children go out in the world where sex is a commodity, everyone is engaging in sex and talking about sex but then they come back to their Muslim communities only to find that their elders are unwilling to engage the topic in a manner both relevant and ethical. Of course they grow into adults that have a wrong opinion and misunderstanding of sex.
The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said, “There is no shyness in matters of religion.” Married couples always ask questions about what is permissible on this subject matter. We hope that this write up will be able to do justice to that. Couples should be sensitive to each other’s needs and limitations. Even a ‘virtuous’ excuse like deep involvement in worship is not accepted if the man forgets or ignores his wife’s rights. In such a case it is the woman’s right to protest. History reports the woman who went to Umar ibn al Khat tab (second caliph) consulting him: My husband fasts by day and prays all night. and I feel embarassed to complain seeing that he spends his time worshipping God. The man was summoned for a hearing. The final verdict was to have three nights for his own worship and to heed the needs of his wife during the rest of the week. Umar also asked his daughter Hafsa how long a woman should stand being away from her husband, Upon which he decreed that fighting troops should be given leave to come back home every six months.
Islam encourages that all phases of sexual responses should be in synch to avoid sexual disharmony. In most cases, sexual disharmony is due to the man getting his orgasm when the woman is still eagerly waiting with inflamed desire to reach her own orgasm. The conclusion of the act at that stage would be unfair to the woman having been aroused but not satisfied, and that is what the prophet warns against. To guide against this, the Prophet of Islam has stressed the importance of intense fore play. He made a statement where he politely refered to fore play as ‘messenger’. He said, ‘”Let-not the one of you fall upon his wife like a beast (camel) falls. It is more appropriate to set a messenger afore the act”
Now speaking on how far we are allowed to go in satisfying our sexual desires and/or the limits (if any) to fore play and sexual acts in Islam, Most Islamic scholars agree , that all acts that aim at satisfying and pleasing the spouses are allowable so long as two things are avoided, that is anal sex and having sex with a wife while she is still in her menstruation. Khuzaymah bin thabit (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that Prophet SAW said, ‘indeed, Allah is not bashful of the truth. Do not have intercourse with women in their rectum.’ (Recorded by An Nasai). Quran 2: 222 says, ‘They ask you concerning (intercourse during) menstruation. Say, it is harmful (to both partners), so keep away from women during menses.’ Note that it is permissible to be with and touch your wife and play with her even in her menses as long as she keeps covered her lower torso (her waist down). During Ramadan sex should be avoided “Only” when you are fasting, once you break your fast, please don’t deny your wife or husband his or her marital rights to you sexually
Another sexual act usually in contest of whether it is permissible or not is the oral sex. Dr. Heba Kotb, a Sunni female scholar[citation needed] who gives sex advice on Egyptian TV, said that oral sex is allowed “since there is no religious text banning it”. She considers oral sex as a part of foreplay on this ground that Islam “stresses the importance of foreplay”. However, following the principles of Islamic Jurisprudence, the scholars have come up with the following ruling for this issue of oral sex.
It can be considered as part of foreplay but Allah knows best as there was no discussion at the time of the Prophet SAW about this issue.
Something cannot be declared prohibited if there is no clear proof in the Quran and in the Books of Sunna (hadith).
It is disliked by the scholars because it is the practice of the disbelievers.
Oral sex should not replace normal sexual intercourse and should only be a form of foreplay if practiced.
No swallowing of semen or ejaculation is allowed. Precum and vagina liquid are also impure and should not be in contact with the mouth.
Should not be done excessively as it causes harm to the mouth or other parts of the body and therefore should be avoided.
In conclusion, there is great flexibility in terms of how you both can satisfy each other and that could potentially involve engaging in oral sex. All of this depends on your personal preferences. Be creative, stay within the limits established by Islam, talk to each other and be open in sharing your feelings with each other about what is satisfying and what is not.
It should be noted that one of the main objectives of Shari`ah is to safeguard the life of people and keep them healthy. Based on this, if it is scientifically proven that oral sex or such practices cause mouth cancer or form a danger on the health of a person who practices it, then it becomes totally prohibited.
The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said, “There is no shyness in matters of religion.” Married couples always ask questions about what is permissible on this subject matter. We hope that this write up will be able to do justice to that. Couples should be sensitive to each other’s needs and limitations. Even a ‘virtuous’ excuse like deep involvement in worship is not accepted if the man forgets or ignores his wife’s rights. In such a case it is the woman’s right to protest. History reports the woman who went to Umar ibn al Khat tab (second caliph) consulting him: My husband fasts by day and prays all night. and I feel embarassed to complain seeing that he spends his time worshipping God. The man was summoned for a hearing. The final verdict was to have three nights for his own worship and to heed the needs of his wife during the rest of the week. Umar also asked his daughter Hafsa how long a woman should stand being away from her husband, Upon which he decreed that fighting troops should be given leave to come back home every six months.
Islam encourages that all phases of sexual responses should be in synch to avoid sexual disharmony. In most cases, sexual disharmony is due to the man getting his orgasm when the woman is still eagerly waiting with inflamed desire to reach her own orgasm. The conclusion of the act at that stage would be unfair to the woman having been aroused but not satisfied, and that is what the prophet warns against. To guide against this, the Prophet of Islam has stressed the importance of intense fore play. He made a statement where he politely refered to fore play as ‘messenger’. He said, ‘”Let-not the one of you fall upon his wife like a beast (camel) falls. It is more appropriate to set a messenger afore the act”
Now speaking on how far we are allowed to go in satisfying our sexual desires and/or the limits (if any) to fore play and sexual acts in Islam, Most Islamic scholars agree , that all acts that aim at satisfying and pleasing the spouses are allowable so long as two things are avoided, that is anal sex and having sex with a wife while she is still in her menstruation. Khuzaymah bin thabit (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that Prophet SAW said, ‘indeed, Allah is not bashful of the truth. Do not have intercourse with women in their rectum.’ (Recorded by An Nasai). Quran 2: 222 says, ‘They ask you concerning (intercourse during) menstruation. Say, it is harmful (to both partners), so keep away from women during menses.’ Note that it is permissible to be with and touch your wife and play with her even in her menses as long as she keeps covered her lower torso (her waist down). During Ramadan sex should be avoided “Only” when you are fasting, once you break your fast, please don’t deny your wife or husband his or her marital rights to you sexually
Another sexual act usually in contest of whether it is permissible or not is the oral sex. Dr. Heba Kotb, a Sunni female scholar[citation needed] who gives sex advice on Egyptian TV, said that oral sex is allowed “since there is no religious text banning it”. She considers oral sex as a part of foreplay on this ground that Islam “stresses the importance of foreplay”. However, following the principles of Islamic Jurisprudence, the scholars have come up with the following ruling for this issue of oral sex.
It can be considered as part of foreplay but Allah knows best as there was no discussion at the time of the Prophet SAW about this issue.
Something cannot be declared prohibited if there is no clear proof in the Quran and in the Books of Sunna (hadith).
It is disliked by the scholars because it is the practice of the disbelievers.
Oral sex should not replace normal sexual intercourse and should only be a form of foreplay if practiced.
No swallowing of semen or ejaculation is allowed. Precum and vagina liquid are also impure and should not be in contact with the mouth.
Should not be done excessively as it causes harm to the mouth or other parts of the body and therefore should be avoided.
In conclusion, there is great flexibility in terms of how you both can satisfy each other and that could potentially involve engaging in oral sex. All of this depends on your personal preferences. Be creative, stay within the limits established by Islam, talk to each other and be open in sharing your feelings with each other about what is satisfying and what is not.
It should be noted that one of the main objectives of Shari`ah is to safeguard the life of people and keep them healthy. Based on this, if it is scientifically proven that oral sex or such practices cause mouth cancer or form a danger on the health of a person who practices it, then it becomes totally prohibited.
In the long run, please let us realize that our religion holds marital sex in high esteem, it is the will of God, please wives, most especially, deny not your husbands their marital right to you. Its the best food you can give to him. Let him have a feast always. You can also drop your questions and we will try to get back to you as soon as possible.
culled from http://myorgasma.co
Thank you, though the Christian woman's advice is a bit one-sided
ReplyDeleteGood and educative write up
ReplyDeleteBoth contributors did justice to the issue. Really, nothing to add.
ReplyDelete